Karma

I was just thinking the other day about what in my life has hurt the most, what has been most regretted, what the happiest, what most shameful, what of honor and what of dishonor.

Somewhere deep down I think I believe in karma--not strictly the Hindu sort of karma, but a karma that works right along in the course of this life. More like reaping what one sows.

I think what has hurt the most, and in a way rather curiously so, has been Jamie's refusal to ever speak to me again. I hate for things to remain unchangeable, without the possibility of apology, without the possibility of forgiveness. I keep all doors open that I can think of in eternal invitation of a word, a chance.

Silence is deadly. The thought of taking it to the grave is almost unbearable.